How To Avoid Jury Duty
August 17th, 2004
Today I had jury duty. I was on a Petit jury, which says you have to serve for one day or one trial. I thought that meant I would be there for one full day or one trial for part of the day. Unfortunately, it actually means one day, if you don't get picked you go home, or one trial, if you get picked your gonna spend a week on a jury.
When I heard this I was absolutely torn, I was really looking forward to the big money I was gonna get ($30 a day and $4 transportation compensation), but I also have a deadline on Friday.
As I watched the Jury selection continue I saw that there are definitely some easy outs that you should definitely consider:
- If you are, have been, are any any way affiliated to law enforcement, tell the Judge
- If you are a lawyer, know a lawyer, talk to lawyers, or even think about lawyer stuff, tell the Judge
- Buy a book called The Trial Lawyers and let everybody in the room see it, especially the real lawyers.
- Claim to know somebody else in the room; the lawyer, the defendant, or another jury panel member.
- Wear ripped up jeans and a wife beater.
- If you, a relative, or someone you know has been victimized by a similar crime, tell the Judge.
- Pretend to be racist (risky).
- Tell them that if the defendant was accused, they must be guilty.
- Bring your teddy bear, Mr. Cuddles, to the courtroom with you. When other people speak, say "Mr. Cuddles can't hear you!" (stolen from Toad a la Mode).
I didn't try any of these, but I did get out by just stating the truth "I have a deadline in Friday". The defense attorney immediately jumped with questions; "Can you concentrate on the trial?", "If you were chosen would you hold it against my client?", etc...
Now the only reservation I have is that I could have skipped out on my deadline, and probably spent some days watching over a pretty interesting murder trial. Damn!
Me | Comments (9) | words in this post
i do hope that you get picked to serve on a jury some time. the "i'm busy" line is usually a good one, but sometimes they may take you anyway. try not shaving or something to make you look bum-ish. nobody wants a stinky dude in the jury box for a week. if you do get picked, try not showering -- they might excuse you for exercising your right not to shower. good entry.
...or you coulda said, if ida become a lawyer, i woulda been the 15th or 16th lawyer in my family. (in response to item 2 on your list)...
...or you coulda said that your sister-in-law has started writing contractions as single words and that you have to rush home to texas to tend to her...
oh well. you're outta there. too bad, too. i think that given the experience oprah just had on jury duty, you really missed an opportunity to have a huge "reality check" -- which coulda been fun.
luckily though, there's still hope for that reality check: you can tivo her show next week to see what it woulda been like.
Been out of touch cuz my fan on my computer kept shutting down my computer, but came back in time for this really good one.
You hit the nail on the head about getting out of jury duty. One time, when I was working at that place where they investigate abuse, I told them I knew lots of copys. Well? they said. Yes, I said. Well, you can imagine what they thought of me, but I wasn't chosen.
I'm glad you were chosen...jurys are never fun and almost always nasty.
So, how's the deadline coming?
here's another way to avoid jury duty: if they ask you if there's any reason why you couldn't give a defendant your unbiased attention, say "well, there might be, if the compensation was right." that should do it.
got my first ever jury summons yesterday. will keep you "posted" on what happens next... t
Got called for jury duty a couple of times. Last time it looked like I was going to get picked and I really didn't want to. The case was some poor schmuck who was caught growing pot. I told the judge during my interview that I was a marihuana activist and made a little speech about how the marihuana laws should be overturned and how I could never convict anyone for breaking any of those laws. Needless to say, I was out the door pronto!
I just read my comment again. It was supposed to say lots of "cops," not lots of copys. Either way, I wouldn't use that one if I were you.
I just wanted you to know this was the last blog I've understood. I don't even know how to comment on the next one!
But I love you.
Far and away the easiest and most honest way to get you out of jury duty is to let it be known that you exercise independent judgement.
Independent judgement is poison to the judge, the prosecution, and the defense -- a triple killer.
They want people who have no judgement, who just accept what they are told. For example, if you look like a vacant-eyed housewife who never made a decision in your life, you are sure to be selected.
It worked for me two times and will be my first defense next time.
when called, I answered the judge. Where I work, what I do, etc...
Then I turned to the defendent and started yelling at him. I accused him of being a local drug dealer.
I was escorted out.